Sunday, 21 April 2013

PokéJournal: Update 013

This is such lazy design. It's a tad
better than it's pre-evolution, Seel,
but barely.
-Wow, it’s been so long since my last PokéJournal update. The last PokéJournal was posted on the 17th of March, that’s more than a month ago. I’ve published 12 other posts since then! Four of them were posts I made after reading novels. I’ve also moved cities and started a new job since then. How is any of this relevant to Pokémon Heart Gold? Well, it’s been so long I have no idea what I was doing when I last played! Good thing I’ve written these PokéJournals, I’ll be caught up in now time!

-So, I just finished reading all the PokéJournal updates. How do you guys read that crap? It’s less fun reading them than it is writing them (impossible!)! Also, I’m terrible! I haven’t had one easy gym battle since the very beginning. Boy, I need a Pokémon coach. Double Boy, I need a life coach. I’m twenty-two and I’m still playing Pokémon? Ah well, it’s not so bad, I’ve got a level 39 Feraligatr, YEAH!

-First things first, I’m off to fight Pryce at the Mahogany Gym. What a way to shake off the rust and warm up the muscles, eh? By beating an old man and his equally old Pokémon to a pulp. If that doesn’t put a smile on my face, I don’t know what will.

-Pryce has one of those fun ice floors in his gym. Sweeeeee! I hope I have as much fun fighting him as I did sliding around on the floor. My friend Keith warned me Dewgong is going to heal itself over and over. I’m hoping Ampharos will be able to zap it to death in a few hits as possible.

-Why is there a snowboarder in here? The floor is ice and, more importantly, it’s flat. I hope he’s not looking forward to hitting the slopes because there aren’t any for miles and miles around. Loser. Dude should be wearing skates.

-While fighting the snowboarder, I discover that Heracross is a Swinub fighting machine. I haven’t played in so long I forgot what types my Pokémon are useful against!

-Two Swinubs later, Heracross has levelled up. Yup, turns out I’m pretty good at this Pokémon training thing. Bring it on, Pryce!

-Great, the other trainer is a skier! These two have clearly been out in the cold for too long. Their brains have frozen solid and they’re completely delusional as to where they can practice their downhill winter sports.

-Sweet, my Growlithe just levelled up. Seriously guy, I’m a pro.

This dude is as weak as he looks.
-Ugh, a trainer sent out a Dewgong. Listening to Keith’s advice, I paralyze it with Thunder Wave. The only problem is that Dewgong attacked first and used Encore or some silly attack and now Ampharos is stuck doing Thunder Wave over and over. Note to fans: using Thunder Wave more than once doesn’t make the opponent “more paralyzed”. It’s a waste of PP. Stupid Dewgong.

-SIX! SIX EFFING ENCORES!! I’m gonna kick that Dewgong’s tail!!

-One Thunder Punch later, Dewgong fainted. Let’s have a moment of silence and remember the bravery with which Dewgong battled. Undaunted by its severe paralysis, Dewgong endured. You only encounter such brave Pokémon once in a -- Sweet! Ampharos levelled up! Thanks for the boost Dewgong, ya sucker!!

-I’ve fought all five trainers and there is only Pryce left. For all those fights, other than the first one, I used Ampharos. I’m somewhat concerned about PP for the oncoming battle. Especially since Dewgong is apparently going to heal itself over and over. I’ve got a feeling this might be a little tough. We’ll see.

-Since I’m not idiot, and also because I’m rusty, I’m saving the game before challenging the old fart. I’ve also established a good strategy in case Ampharos runs out of PP: kick the dinosaur’s cane out from under him, steal a badge and my TM and slide all the way out of there. Here’s hoping the skiers and snowboarders don’t have time to step out of their bindings before pursuing me and I get off scotch free. Better yet, maybe my Pokémon will be awesome and I’ll have an easy victory. At this point, either option is good in my opinion.

-I defeated Seel in one hit, using Thunder Punch. Pryce is sending out Piloswine and so I’m sending Heracross. Kick him in the tusks, Heracross!!

-After one Brick Break, Piloswine is in the red. He hits back and Heracross is still well in the green. She does another Brick Break and Piloswine slumps over, utterly defeated. Bring on the Dewgong.

-I send Ampharos back out, planning to use the type advantage to my advantage. Dewgong attacks first with Aurora Beam. A bit of damage is done. Ampharos paralysis the poorly designed Dewgong and I get Ampharos to use Charge. I’m hoping one more hit will give me my victory. Dewgong is still paralyzed and I used Discharge. It’s a one-hit KO guys. Keith, you’re a wimpy trainer for having to deal with Dewgong healing nearly a dozen times. Clearly I haven’t lost any of my skill as a trainer.

-As soon as I step out of the gym, Prof. Elm calls me. It seems Team Rocket has taken over the radio broadcast tower in Goldenrod. Guys, I don’t have time for this, I want to go back to the Safari Zone and do my second test. Then again, that can wait. Let’s get some Pokémon training done. Who knows, maybe I’ll find some hidden items at the broadcast tower. Yes, yes. Hidden items are great. Even the items I’ll never use are great because I can sell them. Money, moneeeeyyyyy!

-Haha, I started to walk to Goldenrod when I remembered Pidgeotto knows how to fly. Oops!

-I got to the radio tower but the TR grunt doesn’t want to let me in! I’ve got to find a TR uniform and sneak in. Where the heck do I go for that? I run around town, jumping in and out of buildings trying to find a costume. I find one in the Goldenrod tunnel. I look as suave and evil. Mwahahahahaha!

-The same TR grunt lets me go up the tower this time. Too bad he couldn’t have done it without hitting on me “You look good in that uniform.” Well, had I known all I needed to do was flirt with him to get access to the tower; I would have done it long ago. Stupid grunt is wasting my time!
It's a buffalo without a body! This
is as lazy a design as Dewgong, but
I can't help but like it anyway. 

-Craphat shows up and ruins my disguise. The TR grunt is upset that I fooled him and so he challenges me to a fight. Come on, my wheels are spinning in the mud here guys, I just want to go up in the tower!

-Somehow Ampharos levels up again. It’s not even holding the experience share. What a strong trainer I am!

-The next grunt I fight has five Rattata. I send out Pidgeotto to train him up a bit and I use his only good attack, Fly. It takes an extra turn to defeat them all but it’s essentially a one hit KO for every Rattata. It’s good training.

-Pidgeotto is more or less out of commission. He got poisoned after fighting two Grimers and I just don’t feel like spending all my money healing him up. I gave him an antidote and he’s just going to chill out in his Poké ball at 7 HP. I put Heracross as my lead because she’s tough.

-I cleared a whole floor and I think that’s a good place to stop for today. Next time I’m taking down Team Rocket and freeing Goldenrod City of their tyranny.

Pokémon caught: None.
Pokémon traded: None.
Gym Leader defeated: Pryce. I kicked his prune-y ass.
Fights with Craphat (Rival): None, but I did discover he has a crush on Lance.
Evolutions: None.
Pokémon in party: Feraligatr, Ampharos, Growlithe, Sandslash, Pidgeotto and, Heracross.
Highest level in party: Feraligatr at 39.
Lowest level in party: Sandslash at 22.
Pokédex: 84.
Time played:  31:04


  1. Ok, so in my defense, at the time that I did battle with Pryce I had just finished a big push in my pokedex by evolving a bunch of weak pokemon that i'll never use again which keep my teams level well bellow what it should have been. (except for Typhlosion (was using him in a bait-switch stategy to level my week pokemon), but as I haven't tough him thunder-punch yet he really couldn't do all that much versus the Dewgone. Did get a one hit knockout versus his Piloswine)
    In all seriousness if you hadn't killed him with a one hit- KO he would have started using recover and bam!, you get to deal with him like 12 times.
    So therefore I conclude that Mario did have a much easier time beating this gym because he was better prepared then I was at the time.

  2. Ok, I get that you used Typhlosiong and all and without his Thunder Punch it makes for a difficult battle. My question to you, however, is why didn't you use your Ampharos? I know you have one.
    Also, you can't give me the whole "Well how I am supposed to know I should have used Ampharos." Well, for starters, Dewgong is ice and water. More importantly, that's what the pre-leader battles are for. You assess the advantages and disadvantages of the gym's preferred Pokémon type. In this case: Ice.